Questions and Things

it's interesting to me to think about how my priorities will change over the years. I only have sixteen days left in high school, and we're reading all these books in AP Lit about self-discovery, and wisdom, and the moments of your life that you carry with you. And so much of that coincides with how you make the most out of your life. And so much of that coincides with how your organize your priorities.

I like to think that I make relatively reasonable and admirable choices for someone my age. yet I'm under all of this pressure right now, particularly from my family, to become a good adult. I need to get a job. I need to get good grades. I need to be completely and entirely responsible. I need to grow up. And I recognize that these are all admirable qualities, and I recognize that these are things I should definitely be working on. However, it becomes a problem, in my opinion, when these things interfere with the things I really am passionate about.

...I guess "interfere" isn't really the right word for it. It just really, really bothers me when I'm being told that I should be giving up the things I love to do things that society considers necessary. Maybe I'm just naive, but why can't there be a balance of the two? Why can't we have what we want and what we need?

We live in a society that is so focused on career skills that we've forgotten so much of the value of personal development and introspection. It just seems like such a shame to me, to see all of these people - millions and millions of people - dedicating massive portions of their lives to materialistic gains. Because these people inevitably suffer from the lack of that sort of deeper-felt meaning.

We grow up, and supposedly we're gaining more knowledge and wisdom. However, the amount of questions we encounter seems to grow exponentially by the year. That is, until we reach a certain point. I feel like that's the true damage of going "over the hell" or whatever - we feel we've reached our prime, and thus our need to question ourselves and the various things around us begins to diminish. But I feel like it's these questions that really show our knowledge, wisdom, and understanding. And even more than that, it shows a certain sort appreciation for the world around us. So many people look at knowledge as a competitive sport, and after you reach that half-way point in your life, so many people seem to just decide that there's nothing to compete for any longer. And they just stop asking questions.

That way of making intelligence into SUCH a competitive thing just makes me sad, because for me, learning is about living life to the fullest and discovering all of the potential of the gifts that I've been given. And when you make it competitive, you eventually stop asking questions. And when you stop asking questions, you aren't harnessing all of the beauty of the things around you.

I don't know. I just see so much waste, and all I can really do is hope that I utilize every aspect of my life to its truest potential.