It's Not Over Yet.

Wow, okay. A few surprises last night. My dad took Matt to Guitar Center to look at which electric guitar he wanted to get for Christmas, and they ended up buying it then and just giving it to him. Of course, I demanded that I get my drawing tablet then too if he was going to get his present so early.

My mom ended up taking me to Best Buy, and we left with my new tablet, a new iMac, a flash drive, and a mac quicken program.

But most importantly, we left with a new iMac. I can't even explain how excited I am to have it. It functions soo much more efficiently, and we had a Windows XP before, and it was just old and shitty, to be frank. Also, three quarters of the time the computer's being used, it's me using it, so I'm pretty much thrilled.

But that means just about no Christmas presents when the actual holiday comes. I'm pretty sure most of my relatives are getting me money [?] and obviously now I'm not getting anything else from my rents. So I get something from whichever Weedbook Bher has me, from my boyfriendd, and...whoever drew my name on the Twyman size. Interesting.

Whatever. I like it better this way anyways. Takes away at least a portion of the Christmas season hellish drama.

I'll probably be making youtube videos now too, considering my computer has a camera. This means lots of new myspace defaults too. And a lot more drawing, thanks to Mr. Tablet. I'll update you with how that goes.

Twisted And Sick.

Damn fucking right, fuck society. I know you want me to let you "soak in your emoness," so I won't say anything about you and what you're going through personally [you know who you are,] so I'll keep this on strictly, erm...generalized terms.

I've been talking non-stop about this since about August, and I know it's probably starting to get on the nerves of those close to me, but I'm sick of how humanity operates. Honestly.

Above all, I'm sick of teenagers. Yes, fucktard. I realize I'm a teenager. I hate that I'm a teenager too. I also realize that all teenagers aren't the same, and that I'd like teenagers if i wasnt in such a horribly cynical mood lately, but I am. So this is how I feel.

I'm sick of the pointless drama. I'm sick of the complaining. I'm sick of the changes. I'm sick of the attitude. Once again, I know. I know that a good portion of it is "majorly out of our own control," and that at this age, there are just certain things that are going to happen. What I hate is how our generation encourages the trouble. Yes, trouble does define you, but we seem to have taken it upon ourselves to figuratively throw so many problems at each other that we're a finely carved Greek statues.

Whatever. I shouldn't be talking right now. I just want this whole period of time to pass. I want sophomoe year to be done; I want to get on with my life.

I want things to go back to normal. I want to be able to spend quality time with Andy, my friends, and my family with out awkward, unneccesary phobias and paranoias creeping up on me.

And until then, teenagers are going to drive me crazy.

Every Little Thing.

Well, here goes a new blog. We'll see how long I keep up with this.

Things haven't exactly been going the best. Last night, I was crying so hard that I woke my mom up. I ended up convincing my dad that what I really needed was to get out of the house, and he drove me around Richfield randomly for about twenty minutes. No talking the entire time. No radio. Just silence and pretending I didn't know where I was.

Y'know, you'd be surprised what you find when you make your mind do that. As soon as you make your surroundings unfamiliar to you, there's just so much more to see. Comparing houses to the type of homes you'd like to have for your own someday; imagining what the people on that specific block are like; picturing the innards of the house - what kind of decorations does it have? What are the rooms like?

I don't know how to describe it. There was just something sentimental about it.

It was probably imagining having a life of my own. Living under my own roof and all that. But either way, the entire drive had a mellowing effect, and I tried to sleep when I got home.

Andy came over today too. I was supposed to spend the night at his house yesterday, but considering how I've been lately, the parents weren't exactly all for it, so we just rearranged it so that he came down from Watertown, and we crashed in my living room for a while. Then we went sleeding with the Weedbook Bitches, which was absolutely amazing. To be honest, I hate snow, but I was having too much fun to complain too much until it was getting towards the end of our trip.

The five of us studied at Cassie's after that, and it was hilarious to say the least. I can't even explain how much I love those four. Andy in a different way than the others, but you know what I mean. We have to give a speech from Julius Caesar tomorrow, and we're wearing togas and putting it to the tune of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. It'll be incredible.

Maybe I'll actually get through tonight okay. The chances are slim, but I'll hope for the best.